Friday, August 21, 2009

{Random thoughts for our generation...}

I go this forwarded to me the other day and I died laughing. I took out the ones that I don't really relate to, the rest are so very, very true...

This is long but so worth reading, my commentary in blue.

  • Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. And nothing is better than seeing Chad's face when he hits that moment...
  • I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter? 
  • Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk. I have done this, on numerous occasions...
  • I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. What I wouldn't give for a purple mat everyday at 3:00
  • Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with? Oh, so true. Don't deny it people.
  • Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it. Hello, Dirty Dancing.
  • How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? My mom can fold one perfectly. Me? Notsomuch...
  • I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. Apparently, loosing finger due to cutting the circulation off is not as important as two trips to the car. I concur.
  • The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text. U knw u do 2
  • Was learning cursive really necessary? I can answer that. No.
  • Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
  • Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
  • While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
  • MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
  • Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. Chad- you have the power to make this happen. Use it wisely.
  • I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water. Why would people do that?
  • Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. It really is an amazing phenomenon.
  • I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
  • Bad decisions make good stories.
  • Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do! Hallelujah , I am so glad someone else feels that way! I have a running list of people I am not friends with but look at their profile all of the time.
  • Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year? It's not just you dear author. It is true.
  • Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....And your face turns red and you sweat through your shirt? 
  • I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
  • I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
  • I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? Chad, you can explain this I believe...
  • I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
  • I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes
  • Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
  • It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
  • I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. Sometimes I rename them to Do Not Answer.
  • Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
  • The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.
  • Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
  • It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on and the link takes me to a video instead of text. Especially when your company frowns on streaming video...Great, now I have to worry about getting fired because I was dying to know about the octomom. Thanks, CNN.
  • I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.


Katie said...

hahaha....these are greatttt! love them.

Steph said...

I got one of these emails and died laughing too, although I think some of mine are a bit different. Ironically i debated posting these on my blog of FB....don't be surprised if you see these again! :)

Natalie said...

Love it, love it! I actually youtubed a video on how to fold a fitted sheet. Yes, it is true. Also, spelling words. I am an idiot at that. I wil never keep the remote at your parents house again.