{NIAW}

So I don't really like to be Debbie Downer on here, I try to be lighthearted and funny, but today will be more serious. Skip if you would like.



This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. Infertility is defined as trying to conceived for over one year unsuccessfully. Well, you are looking at 16 months here folks (well maybe 15, with the whole I have no job as of 10/1 thing Baby Eubanks is kind of on hold). It has been a struggle- on my body, my emotions, our marriage and my faith.


Did you know that 85% of people will experience some sort of trouble having a baby? Neither did I, I mean I am friends with Fertile Myrtles. It is so hard and makes you feel so alone. We are at the age when everyone has kids, we have had 9 friends have babies in the past year. 3 more will this summer. I am so incredibly happy for my friends, I really am, I swear! But it is still so hard. I became the one everyone is afraid to tell that they are pregnant and I HATE that. I don't want to seem bitter because I really am not. I think sad is the best way to describe it, you have this longing. Its not jealousy or bitterness, just longing.



Last summer we did 3 rounds of Clomid. It only made me ovulate once. All it was successful in doing is making me gain TONS of weight, have hot flashes and cry a lot. So that was awesome. Then I went to a new doctor who did tons of tests and in December I was diagnosed with PCOS and was put on new medicine. And on this medicine you can't eat sugar, fatty foods or salads or else you will be running for the loo. Yeah more fun!



But in January I found a peace, at the one year mark. I know that God has a perfect plan for me, one that I cannot see (and one I think I could have learned without the whole job aspect...) and I know that we will be parents one day.



This is the most difficult time of year and I will say that I don't particularly care for church on Mothers day...but again, I know He is doing something with me and our little family. Longing to be a mother is one of the loneliest things I have ever experienced, Chad doesn't have maternal instincts and he stays off the google machine so he doesn't comprehend the MILLIONS of people who try for years and never get pregnant.



So I try to be hopeful, pray and put all my trust in Him and I know that when that little baby does join our family it will be so loved and appreciated by us, our family and our friends that it will be the luckiest baby on Earth!



For all you fertiles out there, this video sums up how I feel better than I can.

{Mr. Bob is dancing in heaven}

{Robert Lee Jenkins: August 26 , 1926- April 14, 2010}

Mr. Bob passed away this week, he was my sweet Grandmama's husband. They got married when I was in the 4th grade so he has been in my family for almost 20 years! We will be celebrating his life tomorrow at the same church we had Grandmama's funeral at, and the same preacher. I don't think I am going to handle that well...

It makes me so happy to know that they are probably dancing in heaven right as we speak, Grandmama LOVED to dance.

Rest in peace Mr. Bob, take good care of Grandmama and tell her I say hello and that I miss her everyday.

{The Bustle's tie the knot and Easter}

On Saturday of Easter weekend we went up to Clarkesville to Katie and David's wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony, tons of flowers and nature, and a fun reception.

Chad sported a bow tie, and looked so handsome!

Me and the bride.

Katie and my parents.

On Easter we went to church then I drove down to my parents and then to the inlaws for the family Easter celebration.

Me and Poochie in our Lilly and seersucker. Preppy by birth.

{Wordless Wednesday- Snuggle Bugs}

{A Little More Preppy Than That"

This is cute, I really like Lady A and I like the country version too...and he has on a UGA hat!

{All good things must come to an end}

Spring Break '10: Day 4 & 5

We had a wonderful vacation and are home with our sweet baby Charlotte. I am extremely sad to be back, may be all of the stuff going on in our little world but I could have handled a little more time away from reality...

We went to the Backporch on Friday night and had an amazing meal, the best one of the trip we all agreed.

My hair is huge...

Chris had a little dance party all my his lonesome.

On Saturday we had another beach day while the boys played golf. After golf they joined us on the beach for a while and then we had a friendly little game of shuffleboard. Winner bought a round of drinks at dinner.

Sunday morning we got up early and went out to breakfast. Mandy and I went down to the beach so she could soak up as much sun as possible before they had to leave and head home. While we were out there we got to see a little drama. This guy was fishing right in front of the condo and was trashed, he was yelling at anyone that got near his lines, on a public beach, and was talking to himself. The beach cops came and there was a lot of pouting on this guys part but then he left...

This is how you saw Chad Thursday-Sunday, watching the Masters on the laptop.

Our home for the week, Coral Reef Club- we will be back.

Chad on the way to dinner on Sunday, isn't he handsome?

One good thing about being home- I have 3 new babies to meet that were all born last week. I can't wait to meet all of these little men!

{Golf, Henry and deep dark secrets}

Spring Break '10: Day 3

Ahhhhh, this is relaxation. Mandy and I spent the day on the beach while Chad and Chris played golf.

Last night Chad made friends with Ronald at the Wally World. Note to self, $2.97 wine from Walmart will give you a head ache. Good to know.

We did math at the Wally World as to how many beers are in this cute little keg.

Today Mandy and I spent hours on the beach and apparently I told some of Chris' deep dark secrets. My bad! It has proven to be hilarious when the boys rejoined us this afternoon. There is nothing better than 5-7 at night at the beach.

Chad and Chris paid golf with some English chaps today. Chad knew I would have been obsessed, the 8 year old's name was Henry and he looked like the little boy from Love Actually. AHHHHH, I would have died!

{Tiger, Pat Conroy and Cheese}

Spring Break '10: Day 2

This morning we woke up early, too early for my taste, and started a day of nothingness. It was amazing!

We started the day by drinking our coffee and eating breakfast watching the golf channel. To say that Chad is obsessed with golf, and Tiger Woods, is an understatement. Golf is his passion and he admires Tiger's golf ability, his character no, his ability yes.

This new Nike is amazing, as an Advertising major college I am one of the few people who actually enjoy ads. I love diving into the deeper meaning of them, determining who their target audience was intended to be and to try to see if I understand.

This one is right on par {ha ha ha}. It is Tiger's dad's voice in case you didn't know before watching, we didn't the first time we saw it.

After a leisurely morning of going to the driving range for Chad and reading on the porch for me we went to the outlets. It was insanity, there was nothing I needed from Michael Kors, J Crew, Ralph Lauren or even Brooks Brothers that would make us fight that crowd. Brooks Brothers was a respite from the storm, I guess people on Spring Break don't really shop there, they don't wrap hair or sell henna tatoos.

Chris gave Chad one task to do before he got here 1) find a liquor store and 2) find a cigar store. Well, we found the mecca for both- it was a strip mall that was a cigar store, liquor store and wine/cheese store all in a row. I love me some cheese, it should be its own food group and consumed daily. They had samples and I asked if we could move in. They said no.

Have I showed you the view on the porch? Yeah, its awesome.

It has been in the 60's and overcast today so not exactly beach weather...

The view from my lounge chair. Chad has been watching the Masters on the computer and I have been reading, South of Broad by Pat Conroy {so, so, so good} if you must know.

Cocktail hour with the Eubanks!

Yes, that's right I have on a t shirt and no makeup. I am in heaven!

Mandy and Chris are on their way, should be here in about an hour and a half. Tomorrow will be golf and beach weather and hopefully we will get some color on our pale legs.

And best thing about day 2 of Spring Break 2010? Baby Boy Carden was born today at 3:04!! I can't wait to meet him, kiss and hug him and tell him all of his momma's deep dark secrets from college. Congrats Laura and Joe!

{An Ocean made of BEER}

Spring Break '10: Day 1 {aww aww!}

When we got down to the beach today it was as though the ocean was made of beer, the foam was out of control! Chad ran straight into the ocean, dove head first and was sorely disappointed to find it was not...

My view for the day. I lead a tough life, I have come to terms with it.

And tonight I beat Chad at putt putt. Yes, Mr. Golf was beat by a girl and that girl was me.

Off to drink a couple of beers on the patio and go to sleep early, had an early morning and we have to rest up- Mandy and Chris come tomorrow!!

{What we've been up to}

* I gave up Facebook for Lent, I made it 33 days. Last weekend Rich was over and I had had a beer {or three} and was persuaded to log on. Oh well, I made it longer than the no meat thing last year...

* We have been going to a new church since Valentine's Day, and it is Presbyterian and I L.O.V.E it.

* Last month's supper club we surprised Jayme and celebrated baby Huston. Can't wait to meet him this month!

* I finished up my first singles season in 4th place, out of 5 teams. I loved it though, it was a blast!

* Johnny won his election for City Council on the 16th and we got to celebrate the hard work and victory that night.

* Jack turned 5, I can't believe it. This is the only photo I got of his party, he was having too much fun playing! He will be spending the night with us one night and we will take a trip to Toy's R Us and Chick fil a , can't wait to see what he has in store for us this year!

* A couple of weeks ago I drove to Douglasville to celebrate the upcoming arrival of Baby Carden {yes, in the span of two weeks I had 3 baby showers! Everybody must have had a REAL good vacation last year, if you catch my drift...}. Laura and I lived together all through college,we met in Brumby hall our freshman year! She and Joe are such special friends and I can't wait for that sweet boy to get here safe and sound {but I am sure not as much as Laura is}.
* Daddy was ordained as a deacon at their church. He worked so hard and we are so proud of him! I went to down to the service and celebrated with a wonderful Mexican feast afterwords. There is just something about salsa and liquid cheese that just screams "congrats on your hard work". Ole!

* We have spent some wonderful time with friends. Chad has been playing lots of golf and last night we went to dinner with the Fowlers, Mullins and Ernsts and Chad took on a Man vs. Food challenge. His burger had fried green tomatoes and pimento cheese on it. It was not good, I know you are shocked.

* Katie and David are getting married today! Katie I became best friends in the sixth grade, we bonded over having the same two piece bathing suite at the Trotters Ridge swimming pool. It was an instant connection, no doubt. We were inseparable in high school, my parent's called her their adopted daughter, lots of double dates and boy talk. Who in the world would have thought that all that boy talk would be about her future husband?!? Looking forward to celebrating the new Bustles this afternoon {and I have the cutest new Lilly dress to wear thanks to a surprise from Chad!}

Katie caught the bouquet and David caught the garter at our wedding, Momma is cracking me up in the background.

* We are going to the beach in 3 days. I can NOT wait. We are headed down on Tuesday after work and then Mandy and Chris will join us on Thursday. I can't wait to lay on the beach, read and have a cocktail {or two} in the sand.

* Chad's favorite week of the year is here, Masters. At least we will be at the beach and I won't just be stuck in the house having to watch tv. We aren't coming back from Florida until Monday so he can watch the Sunday round, I am not even kidding.

Sorry it was so long between posts, we have had a lot going on. Mandy- I swear I will try to be better. :)

"I will walk by faith

even when I cannot see

because this broken road

prepares you will for me"- jeremy camp

So...we were thrown a curve ball a couple of weeks ago. Nothing we can't overcome, but a bump in the road if you will.

I have never had it "easy". I am beyond blessed, please don't get me wrong, but nothing has ever come easy. I was always the one without a boyfriend, I have struggled with my weight, had minor heath issues and don't even get me starting on adding a baby eubanks' to the mix. That is a post in and of itself about how things aren't easy. The one thing that has been easy is my sweet Chad {that didn't come out the way I meant it, HE's not easy per se...}. I knew two months into dating him that he was the one, that I wanted to marry him and build a life with him.

So now I look at him and know that God did give me something wonderful, not difficult, without struggle and pain. And maybe he did that to help me through the things that aren't so easy, now I have a partner to weather the storm with. And you know what, I would take a lifetime with Chad over a bump free road a million times over.